Therapy with Ms. Frizzle
Written by Eliot Glazer / Illustration by Ellis Rosen
Going to a psychiatrist “as a bit” was probably a bad idea. But when my friend Michael—who shares my twisted sense of humor—insisted I see one in particular, I couldn’t say no.
And she did not disappoint.
A Ms. Frizzle-like eccentric, she had four offices within a ten-block radius. Her behavior, her décor (think claustrophobic, windowless Victorian dollhouse), even her comments—like scolding me because my insurance “took too long to pick up” before suggesting I join a “Yiddish vaudeville troupe” (with a time machine?) — left me baffled.
But to really capture the experience, I’ll leave it to the Yelp reviews, which Michael and I still read aloud every year:
“She asked me how many drinks I had the night before -- I’d had two -- and she diagnosed me with a binge drinking disorder. And she called me the wrong name twice in one session.”
“When I told her my goal was to figure out some past traumas and work through them, she explained that ‘the mind is like a cave -- we don't want to dig too deep because it might collapse on itself.’”
“She accused my 80-year-old mother of a felony and I was literally worried she'd call the cops.”
“I needed to pay a $25 cancellation fee. After giving her $40 and asking for change, she only gave me $10 back! When I asked for the correct change back, she refused!”
“She said that, since I was blind, it might be helpful to read a book she wrote on the subject. So I checked it out…and the book she ‘wrote’ is just a collection of short stories of blind people in fiction. I mean, I like Daredevil, but I don't see how comparing myself to a guy with superpowers is really gonna help me cope with having to give up driving.”
“She repeatedly attempted to get me to contact my abuser."
“She became quite concerned when learning I worked for a government agency. She asked, “Are you investigating bad doctors?’”
“I wouldn’t recommend her to my enemies, let alone friends”
This was written by Eliot Glazer / and illustrated by Ellis Rosen.